Why confidence is key for relaxed, low-key entertaining (and eight simple hosting rules)

When it comes to entertaining at home, I am deeply allergic to performative effort. Inviting people into your home is such a generous act; that alone is enough without the song-and-dance frippery of a large-scale domestic production. A “keep it simple” mantra is key, and this is how I entertain at home without losing the will to live.

Low-key entertaining isn’t about effort; it’s about editing. One good dish, a decent table setting, wine you want more of, and the confidence to let it be enough.

Let one dish do the heavy lifting

I promise you this is a tried-and-true formula that takes the stress out of tackling numerous complicated dishes. Let the table have a hero, whether it’s a ragu or a slow-cooked lamb shoulder, then everything else can be emotional support; the bread, butter, something green, and salad, always have a salad. If you are stirring more than one pot, you have misread the brief. Take note: fewer dishes, fewer regrets.

Do NOT apologise for the food

You are not a chef. If people wanted food from a chef, they would have booked a restaurant. If it’s overcooked, so what?; if you ran out of time to prep something, again, so what? Confidence is an important seasoning. So is salt. Season and season again. And put more on the table for good measure.

The table should look like you tried. Briefly.

Take a breath, this is not the Met Gala, but a little tablescaping goes a long way towards creating a mood, to bring people together and to create a sense of occasion. Not an occasion of pomp and circumstance, but one of connection.

A tablecloth and napkins immediately suggests intention. If you went to Ikea and left with nothing bar a 100-pack of tealight candles, now is the time to throw them on the table. And people will appreciate it – candlelight is always the most flattering.

Yes, flowers are amazing, but they also die. I tend to decorate the table with food that I can use afterwards, and that I can find at Coles. A bowl of lemons, some tomatoes on the vine spilling with a kind of je nais sais quoi across the table does wonders.

No one cares if there is dust on your skirting boards

Clean just enough. Clean the benches, clean the kitchen the food is coming from, then stop. Houses are for living in, so let it be actually lived in − this is always so much more inviting than an OCD ready-for-sale-clean house. It’s home.

Make-ahead dessert or no dessert

This is non-negotiable. Take it off your to-do list ASAP. Dessert needs to be done and shoved aside, sitting smugly on the bench or in the fridge, ready to go when the moment arrives.

The key is serving something that requires spoons, not precision plating or expert slicing. Crumble, sticky date, the possibilities are endless. Just stick with something that requires something else to be poured indecently over it − this always wins the day.

And if not, remember cheese is not a cop-out, it’s a strategy. A well-chosen cheese plate buys you time, goodwill and silence. One soft, one hard and something a bit smelly if the group can handle it. Add crackers and fruit, and call it an encore. People will nod thoughtfully, as if you planned this.

Drinks need to be self-serve

Prep a jug of something delicious, fill ice buckets and always, always have bottles within reach. The host constantly getting up and running laps of a table to refill glasses is a cautionary tale. Guests can easily pour their own second glass − remember, this is not a restaurant, and you are not being tipped.

Music helps

Not the kind of music that hijacks the room, but the mellow background type with a few familiar songs. It helps you relax (the top priority as host), and it sets the mood for an easy gathering. If things take a turn, it’s always fun to turn it up and belt out a few tunes at a volume that has the potential to annoy the neighbours.

Leftovers go home with guests

You don’t need your fridge overfilling with the remains of the day. Send your guests home with the leftovers, be it a hunk of bread or a wedge of cheese. It’s generous, and it’s practical. Win-win.